I was a Gypsy Mama – guest post by Liz Eischen

I was a Gypsy Mama – guest post by Liz Eischen

I Was A Gypsy Mama
It wasn’t a question of whether to go or not. It was a question of obedience. Over the past several months, the Lord had been teaching, growing and stretching me in great ways. It was my birthday that day. Bags packed. Passport and airline ticket in hand. I was scared. Was I really leaving my job, my home, and my family for a couple months to live with people that I didn’t know in a place I was unfamiliar with? Four international airports, a bus, a train, a car, and thirty-two hours later, I found myself standing in a little Roma (gypsy) village in southern Romania.

This was the real deal.
Four of us had come from around the world to live and serve in this village for two months.
There were two other young women and a young man on the trip with me. Being the eldest participant in the group and living in a culture where age carries great weight, I inevitably defaulted to the mama role.

The two young women that were with us in this village were as opposite as could be, especially when it came to men and interacting with them – one was very conservative and leery of men while the other was much more friendly and forward with the opposite sex. From the outside in a Western culture, there wouldn’t have been much thought toward the differences of these women. It would have been a personality difference and nothing more. However, since we were as far away from our ‘normal’ as possible, it wasn’t as easily dismissed.

As the ‘mother’ of the group, I had conversations with each girl. The conversations wrapped around and addressed their behavior. I reminded them that they both came here with the same purpose – to love and serve others just as Christ came to love and serve us. However, running from interacting with men or throwing yourself in front of every guy you saw was detracting from the goal of living out the Gospel.  Initiating each conversation with the girls was uncomfortable, but the importance and necessity of it was great. Seeing the girls each independently grow and learn was encouraging to me as their ‘mother’.

In addition to conversations about behavior and growing in grace, some of my other mother duties were more practical. I was called upon on all hours of the day and/or night when team members felt sick. One night, one of the girls woke up violently ill. I was worried as this young woman had already gone to the hospital a couple weeks earlier and we had limited access to reliable healthcare facilities.  Along with the non-English speaking pastor and another Romanian to translate, I went to the hospital with this young girl in the middle of the night. When we arrived at the small hospital, we woke up the doctor on call and stepped in to a small cold, empty hospital. The pastor and translator waited outside while I stayed with the young girl. Between cold sweats and waves of nausea, the pale white girl cried out of pain and fear.

The duties were plenty; from helping with meals, getting everyone out the door, and staying on track. By just being available to team members throughout the day, I found myself in this role. While being a gypsy mama was unexpected, it was necessary. It was so helpful for the other young adults in the group and made them feel confident and able to grow in their journey. It meant the world for them to know that there was someone there that loved and cared for them physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. They were able to achieve far more than they would have hoped for if they didn’t have that support and motherly figure.

For me, one might see the extra role as a mother to these young adults as an added burden. In addition to being the ‘mother’, I also had a full-time role as an English teacher to the children in the village. I had very little downtime or personal space. However, it wasn’t a burden. I had grown to love these other team members and I found it to be an honor to take the role of ‘mother’. As most mother’s experience, your role and duties requires you to give and to sacrifice. It was the same for me. I didn’t take on the role of mother in order to get something, but knowing that I would need to give and sacrifice for the sake of others. However, as we often hear that one must give in order to receive, I found by investing all of myself into the experience of living in a dusty little Roma village rich and fulfilling. By loving, I received love. By giving, I gained blessings. By serving, I experienced joy. For a short while, I was a Gypsy Mama.

Liz Eischen, The Gypsy Mama

As a twenty-something year old writer with a curious soul, Liz Eischen wears a lot of hats. One commonly worn hat is the mama hat. Sometimes the role is unexpected and across cultural bounds. Other times she delieberately steps into the role of a mom. Even though Liz doesn’t have kids of her own yet, she has endless and amusing stories and insights of being a mama to others around the world.

 

What would mom say? Guest post from @MattLMorrison

Have you ever caught yourself thinking  “what would mom say?” Everybody needs somebody. Sometimes you need a friend, sometimes a lover. When it comes down to it, there is no doubt about it, everyone needs a mother.

In the scorching hot summer of 2009 I moved to Portland, OR from San Luis Obispo, CA. I knew no one. I had come up to help start Young Life in Sherwood, packing only what stuff I could fit into my Toyota Echo. Within the first week of being here I was introduced to a marvelous community of friends. I fell in love with one of those people, and after nearly a year I had my heart broken.

I had no idea it was coming until it hit me like a train. She asked to meet me at a coffee shop instead her house on that spring day. Although we had never talked about breaking up, I knew the ax was about to drop. The drive to the shop was difficult. When I saw her the first thing out of my mouth was “you’re breaking up with me aren’t you?”. She looked at me with heavy eyes and said a simple “yes”. I knew she had just met with her mentor. She told me her mentor hadn’t had anything to do with her decision. I knew she had.

It was a hard year of heartbreak and depression, though not without hope. In the fall my friend Elliot moved into my apartment. After he had moved in his stuff he blurted out “My mom totally broke up you and your ex.” It was probably a good thing he didn’t say that beforehand. He wouldn’t have made it past the front door. Alas even though Elliot was “son of the enemy”, we became very good friends. That year I spent a lot of time healing. I was leading a small group of middle school guys, and it was the fall that Mitchel joined the group. At that time I had no idea that I would be completely in love with his sister in only a few months.

It was around this time I called Jane, Mitchel’s mom, and asked if she would be interested in leading a group. She said she would be as long as Mariana could lead with her. We scheduled an interview. I definitely thought Mari was cute. She was cute like my own sister was cute, especially because she was still in high school. It wasn’t until a conference  our church put on called “loveology” in downtown Portland that I realized she had a crush on me. That part didn’t scare me. What scared me was that I liked her, too. While dating a younger girl is not unheard of, it is definitely not allowed by Young Life where I was leading. Surprisingly It was Elizabeth’s motherly spirit that made her the first person I spoke to about Mari. It probably helped that Elizabeth just happened to be a present neutral third party. She was in the right place at the right time and had made herself available to help with coffee at the conference.

Over the next year I found myself talking with Elizabeth whenever we would go over for dinner with Elliot’s family. She adopted me into the family as her other son and helped me navigate through serious emotions that had to be put on ice. Elizabeth even shared with me why she told my ex to break up with me. It was because I’m loud and I smell bad sometimes. Oh, and because we weren’t on the same page about a few fundamental items.

It’s funny how things pan out. Elizabeth started mentoring Mari, and I waited until she graduated to ask her out. Now Mari and I have been dating for 8 months and we are both confident there are many more to come. Elizabeth and I are now working side by side doing Consulting, Branding, and Marketing, through New Media. It’s remarkable what can happen when you simply take the time to care. I am so glad that I have another mother close by so I can always ask “What would mom say?”

-Matt

Your Other Mother

Mother, Relationships. Family, My Other Mother

We each came from a mother.  I am not your mother.  When my older two children started into junior high I decided I wanted our home to be the one that kids would want to hang out.  I was not the kind of mom who dressed like her daughter or had to fit in with the kids.  I just made sure that those kids who came into my home felt like they fit in.

Kids gathered often.  My freezer always had frozen pizza’s and ice cream to feed any number that walked into my home.  There was always that one kid who sat at the kitchen counter. He or she did not want to be watching movies, or playing games.  I soon learned that these times at the counter meant something to these kids.  A mom, clanging in the kitchen asking questions around their lives and the stories that were important to them.

Very little has changed in the past 15 years.  I still spend time with young people gathering around our dinner table, joining me on a trip to the grocery store, a text asking me a dating question. It could be a phone call asking if I have time to hear a situation and help with decisions.  I am not full of amazing wisdom.  I actually have one source I draw from.  The word of God–The Bible.  I have been walking with Jesus for over 35 years. Nothing has impacted how I live my life more than the words written in the Bible.  Many question it’s Truth.  I am fine with that. What I do know is that my opinion means nothing if it’s not in align with God’s word.

I don’t mind being The Other Mother.  I have many who call me mom.  I have journals filled with YOUR process and your thoughts.  I have written your questions down for years, that I may search the Bible for biblical meaning and answers.  Here, this blog I will begin to post and build content around the topics that have come to me.  I want you to ask questions. Challenge me if you will and let’s see how I can learn from you.  ”My Other Mom”– that’s me! A mom to five children, and the other mother to many more.

Blessings & Love Elizabeth